I only have one "official" resolution this year, and I will mention it here for the same reason of accountability. My plan is to read the Bible every day. Where this resolution differs from past (failed) resolutions is in that there are no specifics: on a given day, I can read as much or as little, from wherever in the Bible that I want. No legalism. A few months ago, a friend of mine made a passing comment about how Christians often ask for wisdom but never actually get around to reading the Bible, the primary source for gaining wisdom. It's a thought that's stayed with me.
It's also occurred to me that regular Bible reading is essential for this project to succeed. Of course it's essential for a plethora of other ideas as well, but my point is this: the goal of spiritual reading is transformation, and the Bible provides a two-way street (or a double-edge sword, if you like) for that process to take place. It points outward, informing and enlightening my spiritual reading, and it points inward, drawing me into intimate relationship with Jesus, who transforms me from the inside out.
My first reading of the new year was a passage specially chosen to bless Steve and me for 2010 by Steve's dad: Psalm 20. Verse 4 especially stands out, and fills me with aching:
"May he give you the desire of your heart
and make all your plans succeed."
In many ways, 2009 was a year of failed plans and unfulfilled desires, of pain and struggle and desperation in wanting to know God's will and meeting with utter silence and darkness, or so it has often seemed to me. It is at this final place of desperation that I am finally willing to consider anything, and that leads me to the question: What do I desire? and What should I desire? The answer to the first is a list several pages long. The answer to the second is simply: God himself. The distance between the two is infinite. I have been trying to merge the two for too long, or perhaps mistaking one for the other, as silly as that sounds, and the result is only grief and discontent.
So, it seems the first action of this verse is to transform my desire. Psalm 37:4 gives us a glimpse into the prerequisite (if you will) for Psalm 20:4. It states,
"Delight yourself in the Lord,
and he will give you the desires of the heart."
Easier said than done. There is so much to give up, so much control to relinquish, so many dreams to lay at the altar. But this is my goal. My hope is that this project can be a part of that process, and I pray that as long as that goal remains, these plans will indeed succeed. Let the feasting begin! And may we find nourishment, communion and joy at the table.
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Fabulous Becky. What a great way to start the year. Ken always keeps a Bible on the back of the toilet so there is really NO excuse to not read the Bible (even for a minute). Granted, with 4 kids, sometimes I don't even get a minute.
ReplyDeleteI'm hungry for some Becky Ciabatta, a glass of deep red wine and some honest talk about desires and delight my dear. Oh how I wish we lived closer.
I keep a pocket-sized Bible in my car to read a bit of if I'm ever held up in a traffic jam or at a long light. This habit stemmed from when I was on my trip up to Vancouver to visit Regent to consider applying, and it was a horribly rainy day. I wanted to explore Vancouver a little since I hadn't really seen much of it before, so I drove to Stanley Park. But I didn't want to get out of the car because it was miserable. So I just pulled off the road into a lovely parking lot (the one near the tree you used to be able to stand under which has since fallen down :-) and pulled out my Bible which I'd brought with me on the trip, and read Romans. Yes, all of Romans. It ended up being one of the most blessed times of Bible reading I'd ever had, and I think it was from that time on (or at least that experience was a major motivator in my decision) that I started keeping a little Bible in the compartment between my front seats. It has come in handy many times though I've never had such a special experience as I did that day. I think it was the Lord's special blessing to draw me to Vancouver! :-)
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I love that you're doing this blog and I will be a faithful follower of it. The name of it is great. It reminds me of Eugene Peterson's book "Take and Eat" which is an annotated bibliography of all the books he recommends, in chapters by category.
May you have a wonderful feast this year!
Hey girls, thanks so much for the comments - it reassures me that I'm not just writing to myself.
ReplyDeleteJen, some wine and ciabatta would be loverly indeed...perhaps a road trip to Vancouver is in order this spring? The Bathroom Bible cracked me up - not very romantic, but practical! ;-)
Rosie, I love your story of reading Romans in Stanley Park - I can just hear the rain on the car roof, see the steam fogging up the windows and feel the joy of soaking in God's word in an unusually blessed way.
And you're right, Eugene's book was part of the inspiration in the name of this blog...I have perused his anthology for several years, wishing I could check more titles off. This is the year to do it!! I’ve been planning to post a few quotes of his about spiritual reading, which brings in mind a question: how do I properly cite books on the internet? Could you email or facebook me?
I’m looking forward to continued meals with you!